The Positives of Negative Criticism

It’s so true. Get 100 positive comments, “You’re handsome,” “Great physique,” “Dy-no-mite haircut,” and you barely notice. But one perceived negative comment, “I think I liked your hair parted on the right side better,” and you become defensive. Or at least annoyed. Even if the criticizer means well, and you do look crazy better with the part on the right, you balk. “What do they know about hair anyway?” 

Rare is the person who says, “Tell me exactly what you think,” and means it. Most of us want nothing to do with suggestions, opinions, helpful comments, tips or alternative ways of doing what we’re doing.  But we should.

With a little help.  Often constructive criticism offers a new, often better way to handle a job, problem or situation. Feel confident enough to know you are on the right track and, as the Beatles’ song goes, “With a little help from my friends” you can improve processes, strengthen relationships and increase productivity.

Join the crowd. Going it alone may not reveal the whole story. One perspective is just one opinion in a swell of opinions. Hear what other folks have to say. You may reject most options, but if you’re listening, really listening, you at least could pick up some interesting tidbits and grains of truth.

Hold your horses. Whoo Red Ryder, resist the temptation to hear a negative criticism and start a rebuttal in your head. Just listen without taking offense and hear the person through. Most often we do not recognize a kindly comment, but hear instead carping criticism, “Hey stupid, only an idiot would wear their hair parted on the left.”

Day of judgement.  Most of us don’t want to be judged. We cannot control what others say, but we can control our reactions. Sometimes colleagues are trying to make themselves shine and so they choose to criticize and judge to stand out. Sometimes we just have to say, “Thank you for that observation, Bill,” and understand that a harsh criticism could turn out to be helpful even if that were not the intent.

The sandwich. Knowing how hard it is to take criticism, go easy with the biting comments. Remember, we’re all hungry for praise. So, sandwich that constructive comment between two appetizing compliments anyone would love to receive!

 

For our unvarnished opinion
Contact Anne Schwab or Liliane Blom
(CMSWriting.com & CMSVideoProduction.com)
202 333 3560